Live and Become

Live how?

Become what?

My worst nightmare has always been a simple and tangible existence.... join my fellow neighbors of 8th avenue.... sweat and obsess and discuss and wash down my work out at the local Starbucks nodding and waving to my buddies on 'roids.

But as they say --- you are only as good as your worst nightmare....

As I travel the world circuit of "jewish professional thinly disguised as documentary person with glamourous job" my thighs begin to jiggle as I hunch over the free food buffet, and my love handles send love signals to my rapidly approaching early middle age.... and suddenly I realize, cigarettes and cocaine are not the solution and HOLY FUCKING SHIT I may need to join a gym. And I feel dirty yet elated.

Elation rips and shudders through my body - as I contemplate the array of classes and ways to make my "assets" grow and mutate and harden like the silicone implants on a newly married reality television star.

I live in chelsea! I can have it all!

So, I hang my head in shame and jiggle my thighs in excitement at the thought of someday doing african dance with mauricio, or pumping a leg or two with tom ... as I join the masses and tote my own mat to the New York Sports Club on 8th and 23d.

This is a confession.