Deep Inside Ehud Olmert

Ehud Olmert is currently leading Ariel Sharon's Kadima party -- Sharon is still in a coma. I had the pleasure of dining at his house six years ago, when I worked at a certain film festival. He was Mayor of Jerusalem at the time, and threw us a party. His home is gorgeous, full of obscene art work, that his wife makes. She's a lefty conceptual artiste.

My claim to fame with this encounter is rather embarassing. After a few glasses of wine and organizing taxis for Ang Lee and his wife, I dashed upstairs to use the bathroom and got myself locked in. My knowledge of Hebrew is what it is now -- crappy -- so I leaned out the window, which was a flight above the caterers who were smoking and probably blowing it on the food, and started clearing my throat. No one looked up. I had to shout (embarassing) in Hebrew (ineffective) : Slicha, ani b'sherutim... ve.... I'm locked in the toilet!

I'm getting hot and starting to sweat -- I'm locked in the Mayor of Jerusalem's toilet, I start jerking the door knob in a panic and tell myself that living the rest of my life in this bathroom wouldn't be the worst thing. After several yanks and twists, I manage to get it open. Just as I yank the door, Olmert is bounding up the stairs in a white t-shirt, a cigar dangling out of his mouth -- "Whose locked in the bathroom?" I emerge, he laughs, gives me a hug and the guests start applauding.

That Olmert is good under pressure... Maybe he can run a country?
(But if you check the news, not if Hamas is on board, this he just told our cowboy, I mean, president)