ANXIETY!

i'm at this ridiculous fever pitch of anxiety. and it truly is ridiculous. struggling with a piece of writing that i will not allow myself to give up on. sitting in a cozy, chilly cafe in brooklyn and wanting to throw my laptop onto 7th avenue. my reward in about 2 hours will be a bike ride in the park -- until then, i cannot leave, i must finish, and i'm hoping my boyfriend did not get picked up by the KGB which would explain his lack of cell phone service or email contact. we've had phone contact but not in two days... that said, in addition to my looming lunar eclipse and looming unemployment/homelessness, and looming monthly time, i suppose the tranquility of early august, is about to simmer to a slow, dripping conclusion.

ok - must continue writing. like the other dutiful folks in the cafe around me. they're so good.

me so bad.