A Woman Out Alone...

As I've said before, I live somewhere between Mexico and Hasidic heaven, and I guess last night one of my neighbors mistook me for a prostitute. It was 2:40 a.m. and I hopped out of the taxi about a block from home. I noticed a youngish Hasidic guy out and about, and then I noticed he was kind of following me. I slowed my steps, he slowed his steps. I sped up, he did too. Like most prostitutes, I was wearing a bomber jacket from the army navy and hiccupping really loudly.

Then I got belligerent, but it was a sort of bemused belligerence because I was drunk and he was Hasidic.

"Back the fuck up. What are you doing? I'm totally serious! Back the fuck up..."

and then my favorite line:

"Just because I'm hiccuping is not an invitation!"

That was a direct lift from a statement my mom made, "a woman out alone is not an invitation..." and will be used in my film, but:
"a woman out alone and hiccuping in a bomber jacket is not an invitation" is all the better.

Isaac wanted to find his ass and beat him. I was more focused on getting the hiccups gone, so he tickled me and that did the trick.