Spending my morning with HIM

Ugh. I have to spend my morning with the rapist. Its kind of amazing that I have this material and I get to look at him, I can watch him. I cover his eyes when I show him in public (to protect his honor- ha!) for legality issues, but I'm uploading material now for a consultant to look at, so I'm figuring out what to show her. And I can behold his face. His eyes. And even the dimples that make his face have a sweet smile. He has a sweet smile.

I love the break up effects of the video -- I'm trying to upload it but its not working.

I'm just going to upload all of it, its all pretty important. I forgot to tranfer the subtitles, so I'll have to do that (bizarre) work of dictating the words right out of his mouth. Staying true to his story. Just digitized the part where he told me that "bad things happen, and we just have to, you know, deal with it. I'm not involving other people, you know keeping it between us..."

Between us.

Am nearing the end of the tape now, and all of the sudden I'm not feeling very courageous. I'm a little scared to go outside and take a walk. I feel a little sick to my stomache. The sun is shining, its a beautiful day. My flouncy roommate will be home in an hour, maybe she'll go with me.

Just finished. Going to put him aside (save subtitles for later) and get through something more pleasant.