Just So Busy-- why keep blogging?

For real. A friend of mine who works with youth media asked why someone my age would keep a blog... her view of the adolescent need to define ego and seek affirmation on the web made sense, but for me, to keep a diary that is public, its less clear. And I'm not so sure either. I do like to keep record... I'm feeling a bit restrained by the public-ness of it, so I'm coming up with other solutions (anonymous blog, changing names, etc.). But as an excercise in keeping track, editing, documenting and recording, its a good tool.

What the fuck? Work is so busy -- we've received all of our new films this year -- and I'm completely sensitized. I wish I could be desensitized but piles and piles of Jewish documentary films, well, its all about Hitler, Hate, Death, and Dying. A film about Cancer is the bright spot so far. I'm feeling very effected by the heaviness, not just the disappointment in some of the filmmaking, but the subjects too. I was a bit of a downer at a dinner party last night...

One film about anti-semitism in Europe got me really riled up. It is riveting and highly disturbing, to quote one English woman "Ever since the Intifada, all bets are off, and its open season on the Jews again." I also saw a kid get beaten in France on tape. Horrifying (also making me flash back to a recent romance with an anti-semite that I'm completely regretting for that very reason...) I am truly turning into my father.

That said -- I've been invited to Limmoud conference in Paris in May -- its going to be completely difficult to go scheduling wise, but the organizer loves Heeb so much -- and thinks the French Jews in attendance would get so much out of it, that I actually feel morally impelled (?) to go. A moral imperative to bring Heeb to France? That's bizarre. I'm there, and gonna stay with Thomas.